April 20, 2012

Mark home again

It's two weeks since I updated the blog and those two weeks have passed in a blur. We've had the keys to the house and we've spent the last week trashing it, or so it seems when I look at it now. A bit more trashing today and we should be on the putting back together from next week. Hoping to have enough done to move in early May.

Mark has made some progress at Pinderfields, namely he has identified the action that sets off the severe pain, so knows to avoid it, unfortunately that action includes actually pushing his wheelchair, so he has to limit that and will probably have to change his wheels for assisted ones at some point. The Psychologist sent her report to Mr Raza (consultant at Pinders) and it couldn't have been a better slap in the face for him, it stated quite clearly that Marks state of mind was extremely good considering his situation and that it was obvious to her that his problem was medical and not in his head and she strongly advised seeking a second medical opinion because if they didn't get to the bottom of the problem that could cause a longer term negative mental attitude. It couldn't have been better if we'd written it ourselves!!

While he was at BRI he had some of his meds changed, which helped a lot with the associated pain when his back went mad, when he got to Pinders they didn't know most of the new drugs, and this is a dedicated spinal centre!! Although nothing surprises me anymore. So now we're still waiting for hear from Birmingham, that could take months. No carers, even though they've been requested for a week, so it's all down to me now .... I put on weight while Mark was in hospital, all that sitting around doing nothing, but with house decorating and now doing all Marks care I'll be a a bag of bones again in no time.

Now Mark is going to be spending some time at the house, terrorizing everyone who is doing any work and generally behaving like the control freak he is ...... I should be grateful he is up to it .... or should I????????

April 04, 2012

Moving on in some areas .....

Later in the day that I wrote the blog last week we got notice that our boat had sold. That came with really mixed emotions. Intellectually and logically is was absolutely the right thing to do and we're relieved it went quickly. Emotionally, it was the last nail in the coffin of our old life, it was a serious meltdown point for me and Mark and I were very subdued the next day. We've all made major changes to our lives and sometimes those changes are upsetting, may leave us angry and with some regrets, but the difference is we MADE those choices. When a major change that wasn't our choice is forced upon us it leaves you with a feeling of helplessness, the inability to control so many aspects of your life. You feel like you're at the center of a whirlwind, everything is whizzing around you but you can't grab hold of anything. Now the boat has sold, the physical link with our old life is well and truly broken. The brilliant friends we made have carried us through the trauma and they will stay with us. Going forward .... here's Marks new house ...

now our efforts have to be looking forward, workmen making a mess and paint brushes ... making a home is the new challenge.

Mark is still in Pinderfields, he's spending some time each day up in his chair, but still spending way too much time in bed still in pain. His Consultant has finally written a referral to a consultant in Birmingham, but it could take another week before it actually goes. Nothing moves very quickly in the NHS!! While he is up he has been able to do some exercising in the gym but has to be careful with some movements that set off the severe pain. His consultant still thinks it's in his head we're convinced of that. The Physio's have seen it happen now so they know it's clearly physical not mental. He's fed up not being able to get to the house and get on with things, he's frustrated being constantly in pain and he's angry he can't get on with his life, but amazingly his spirits aren't too bad considering. I don't think I would be handling it as well. Having said that, Mark messaged me this morning saying if it was the other way round he wouldn't be handling things very well and would probably be living in a box!!